is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
