there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize