i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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