Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
