I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
