I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
