I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
