yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
