Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
