why didn't you poke me back
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
