Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
