OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
