He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
