i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
