White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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