I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to calm my uterus...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
