Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
