All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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