i love accidental penises.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
