just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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