I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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