I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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