I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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