Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
