That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
