You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
