there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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