In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize