woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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