i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize