I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
