Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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