hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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