Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
