If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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