I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
