Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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