Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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