She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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