I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
they need to just BURY HIM!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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