If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I didn't notice because vodka
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
