do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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