Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
