pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
