I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize