Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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