i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
