I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ambien. No doubt about it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
