Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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