Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
