you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
