btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
