Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize