idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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