we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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