My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
