I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
